Growing Up

David rode off to school today on his scooter. Alone. His sisters weren't ready yet. He scooted off with an air of matter of fact confidence, wearing his puffy orange jacket and Toy Story backpack. I felt a pang as my youngest rode off to his first Tuesday of kindergarten. He has had a Monday, Wednesday, Thursday schedule, but this week it bumped up to Monday through Thursday. Sigh.

I did have a lovely day, nonetheless. The weather was delightful. I did some old fashioned letter writing and walked the letters to the post office. I had lunch with a friend and visited with her outside next to their gnarly old weeping willow. My walk home was wistful as I passed by the school and headed home. The children didn't need me to meet them at the school door today.

Carie had expressed her desire to walk home alone. David had scooted off alone, as did Maggie. This morning I emailed Carie's teacher to make sure she knew the walking plan and emailed David's teacher to make sure he connected with Maggie to scoot home together. Carie's teacher replied, "Wow! Another big step on the "growing up" road! :-)"

After school I started to get a little anxious when none of the kids were home within six minutes of the final bell. I looked at the field, expecting Carie to be crossing it. When I didn't see her, I decided to take a stroll to the corner. I saw her and waved, wondering if she'd be offended or pleased. She seemed pleased. We walked and talked for the final stretch. David and Maggie soon followed on the "growing up" road and the afternoon mayhem began.

Busy Boy

Farming has been a big attraction for David lately. Yesterday he fed pretend animals while his sisters prepared dinner for him. The girls worked hard crushing up Tasteeos to make flour and mixing it with cornmeal. They said that it was good until they added garlic salt. I had to smile at all the farming talk and the roles the girls insited each of them play. My smile wavered as I walked into the living room and discoverd the nature of the animal feeding operation. He was using all manner of things I had worked so hard to clean up and organize the day before. I let delight prevail, grabbed my camera and took a picture. Later I asked him to clean up. We raced to get it clean and I was surprised out how quickly the clean up went.



A few weeks ago David used shredded banking papers for haying.




Could it have been a desire for spring that sparked the making of this nest? Maybe it was reading the book Big Bird Brings Spring to Sesame Street.

Sickness and God's love

I had an "aha" moment today as I cleaned up David's vomit, changed his clothes and his bed clothes, washed things and brought him a drink and some jello. Throw up grosses me out, but even when my children are covered with it and I cringe and want to turn away, I don't because I love them and I want to help them. I want them to be clean, to feel better, to have what they need, to rest, to call out to me when they need help and to know that I will be with them. Do I like that in the middle of the night while I am sleeping? No, not really. But I am compelled to action by my love for them. The sickness of my children doesn't make me love them less. To the contrary, it reminds me of my love and gives me opportunity to demonstrate it.

The past few days I've been praying that God would help me to understand more completely how He can hate to look on sin and yet love me, a sinner. He answered my prayer through my sick children. My sin is like vomit, an ugly wound, a broken bone, infection, cancer. God doesn't want to look at it. He hates it, but He loves me and takes care of me, cleaning me up, setting things right, clothing me with new clothes, nourishing me, and restoring me. He's not doing those things to make me lovable, He's doing them because He loves me.

But what God chose to do to conquer the "sickness" of sin and death cost Him much more that what it costs me to minister to sick children. I might have to leave my bed at night when I am comfy and warm. He left the glories of heaven where He was adored and obeyed. I can clean with some cloths, water and detergent. Sin requires shed blood for cleansing, blood from a perfect sacrifice. Only God Himself could offer perfect blood. Now I better understand Jesus as the physician who came to help the sick and the sinners.

God doesn't ask me to clean up my own sin, but He doesn't want me to stay in it either. He wants me to admit I'm not well. He wants me to call out to Him for help. He wants me to submit to His help. He wants me to trust Him and not fight Him as He removes my filthy clothes and cleanses my impurity. He wants me to accept the nourishment and medicine He offers. He want me to accept others He sends to help me. He wants me to rest. As His cleansing and healing takes place, He wants me to get up and try the things He asks me to do that will make me stronger. He doesn't want me to overdo it and try to go beyond what He wants me to do, for that will only wear me out and weaken me. He wants me to listen to Him, obey Him, lean on Him.

God loves me. God loves the world. God gave His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but shall have eternal life.

Stomachs Emptied and Filled

Last evening we had a fun family dinner at the Northwestern College Gala Auction. We actually left before the audible auction, but had a good time nonetheless. In previous years the dinner was pizza. Last night it was pulled pork sandwiches, baked beans, potato chips, soda (pop), and ice cream bars. About six hours after the dinner we saw it again in a different form -- a gooey mass on Carie's pillow. I'm not sure if what she ate didn't agree with her or if she picked up a bug somewhere, but the cleanup effort was enormous. Bob dealt with he bed and I helped Carie. I did laundry until well after midnight because no sooner was I finally dozing off when Maggie came in and announced, "Carie threw up again." Off I went to clean her, remove her floor bedding, and create a new pallet on the floor for her with towels. She had soiled at least six blankets. Clean ones were becoming scarce.



When Carie woke this morning she was quite cheerful. I read to her and David for an hour after seeing that the rest of the family got breakfast. Bob and Maggie went to church while I was reading. I proceeded to ready myself and David for church, including giving a bath to David. In the end, I went to church by myself. It was a wonderful time of praise, worship, and reflection on God's word. Meanwhile, Bob had prepared brunch, so when I got home we had waffles, bacon, and eggs. I'm so thankful for Bob!



This evening Maggie and I joined many others at our church to help pack food for Kids Against Hunger to send to Haiti. Maggie and I had a good time working with others as we weighed and sealed packages. I enjoyed seeing the level of responsibility and ownership that the children of our church took as they bustled around making sure that packets of food and bins got where they needed to go. God is at work and it is exciting! He loves the people of Haiti, He loves us, and He has provided a way for us to use our hands in love to help. Thank you God!

Life this week

It's been a long time since I've posted. We've had lots of snow, cold, and wind. Not as much snow as others, but even one inch of snow coupled with Iowa winds on the open plains is enough to make major road hazards. Carie has had a number of snow days since Christmas. Monday, President's Day, was supposed to be a make up day for past snow days, but the school had another snow day. The kids and I had a nice day together, taking time at lunch to listen to a recording about George Washington and then joining our neighbors at the library later in the afternoon. Our usual Monday evening activity, gymnastics in Sioux Center for Maggie and Carie, was cancelled due to weather.

David has been taking a great interest in letters and words. He is now writing his name by himself and enjoys asking what combinations of letters spell. He can identify certain words in print and likes to "read" aloud books he's memorized. His newest interest is dot-to dots. He can do 1-20 dot-to-dots, saying each of the numbers as he goes along. A few weeks ago he finally got it that numbers go " . . .12, 13, 14, 15. . ." not " . . . 12, 14, 15, 16." As always, he loves to create structures and roadways with boards and leftover sheet rock. Now he has leftover flooring to add to his supplies. He loved watching the men install our new floors. They had buckets, boxes and bags of tools and he watched with great interest as them measured, cut, hammered, and glued. He would hunt down our tape measure and his tools and get busy trying out some of what he saw. Carie often joined him in his activities. When the flooring was all done David enjoyed playing on the hard floor with toys that had not worked right on carpet. All the children paraded around with instruments and shouts of glee when the flooring was complete.


Carie loves going to school and "doing school" at home. Yesterday, while Maggie was busy taking a test, Carie sat with a white board and practiced writing. Then she pulled out some handwriting paper and wrote the numbers 1 through 100. She listened along with Maggie as I read from a biography about Eli Whitney and from a histroical fiction book about Nathaniel Bowditch. Carie has also taken to copying simple drawings with great skill. As of two weeks ago, Carie has officialy begun piano lessons with me. Maggie's piano teacher is too busy to take Carie on as a student right now but doesn't mind if Carie sits in during Maggie's piano lesson. So, Carie sits quietly next to Maggie during Maggie's lesson. I hear Carie practicing fairly regularly. She's doing well with the lessons we go over and with her own compostions.

Maggie is in the midst of taking the Iowa Tests of Basic skills while also doing regular homeschool lessons. At times things are a little tense, but overall this week is going well. In math she has begun mutiplying double and triple digit numbers by a single digit. We've also practiced estimating. In history we are reading about Eli Whitney and the challenge whe was given to creat a machine to separate cotton seeds from cotton bolls. Science is on hold for this week, but lately we've been learning about plants. Maggie's reading Om-kas-toe, a story about a Blackfoot Indian boy and his first sighting of "elkdogs" (elk-like animals that would carry people and had long tails like dogs - i.e. horses). In Bible we've been reading about the travels and trials of the apostle Paul, most recently his appeal to Ceasar. And Maggie's also been reading in Kings. Right now she is using colored pencils to mark verse that are special to her. No, actually she has moved on to replacing batteries in David's toy phone. Soon she'll probably be buried in a book. I better catch her to do some writing before I lose her.

All of the children are shutterbugs. I never know what is going to be on our camera when I trun it on. The pictures of Maggie and Carie were taken by children.

Sweetly Singing

At 6:20 this morning I heard singing. I hustled out of bed to silence the singer before she woke others. Thankfully, I paused before bursting into the room with a fierce shushing whisper. It wasn't one singer but two who were beautfully singing, "Lord of the universe be Lord of my heart. Not just a portion, but every part. Use me in Your way to give You the praise. Make my heart Your dwelling place now and always." I silently returned to my bed to listen as my two daughters echoed the prayer of my heart for me and my family.

Finally, here is Carie's Kindergarten class (with the first graders) performing at her school's Christmas chapel.

Maggie's Christmas program

And here is Maggie singing with two other girls. This was her major part of the Christmas program:

Christmas programs

David and Maggie were able to perform in our church Christmas program. Unfortunately, Carie was sick. But, we were able to go to her Christmas chapel at school and watch her sing and play bells.

Here is a video of David's part in the Christmas program:

Thanks

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise;

give thanks to him and praise his name."

~Psalm 100:4

I'm thanking God for the return of my voice! I can almost speak and sing normally. I'm also thanking him for wonderful family and the great visits we've had with parents/grandparents over the past month. What a delight it is to have such loving, godly, prayerful parents/grandparents! I also appreciate how helpful they are when they come to visit. Thanks, Mom and Dad (all of you).

Today was my first day of working at the Bibles for Missions Thrift Center in town. If the Lord wills, I will continue to help out one Saturday a month. I appreciate having a have a thrift store in town, both for donating and for buying, and I appreciate that the proceeds go to buy Bibles for people in Haiti. While I worked this morning at BFM, Bob had the children straighten their rooms and then they all went grocery shopping. Now that's a loving husband! I'm so thankful for Bob and for our kids.

This afternoon Maggie had play time at a friends house while the rest of us went to Sioux City to do some shopping. We had a successful shopping day both at Sioux City and in Orange City -- new snow pants, shirts, and shoes for Carie, new socks and a sweater for Maggie, new undershirts and socks for David. I'm really thankful that we were able to get all that we set out to get today. We also had fun in the car listening to stories from the Wayside School collection.

For dinner/supper we went to Taco John's. That's a family first for us. We went for lunch one time when we were house hunting over five years ago, and the kids have been twice for ice cream, but tonight was the first time we had our evening meal there. The children ate every morsel of their meal without complaint! I was thankful that Bob had the idea of going out so that I didn't have to rush to make dinner after getting back late from Sioux City. It was a treat to have a fun family meal in a "new" place.

I'm thankful for God's goodness and His love that endures forever. I'm thankful that He forgives my sins, heals my diseases, rescues me from the pit, and crowns me with love and compassion (Psalm 103). I'm thankful that He satisfies my desires with good things. I may not always recognize the good things as good at the time, but I find that when I trust in God and His goodness and not my own perception of the circumstances, I experience His peace.

Yesterday I was focused on myself and my failures rather than on God and His goodness. I was grumpy, angry, sharp in my speech, overly sensitive, impatient, etc. Finally God got through to me. I realized that I turned every irritating action of my children into a personal accusation of my own failure as a mother. That only added to the list of my own personal failures in home management, time management, and self management. The more I thought of myself and my failures, the more unbearable I became to myself and my children. Thanks be to God for rescuing me from the downward spiral by showing me the truth and setting me free. How grateful I am for God's forgiveness through Jesus Christ when we confess our sins. I got a fresh start and had a better afternoon and evening.

This morning I greeted the girls with Maggie's memory verses for this week. I never took the time to review them with her yesterday and I certainly hadn't applied them during much of the day. How different my day could have been, and yet the failures of yesterday serve as a lesson to me and highlight the importance of God's words in Philippians 4:6-8

Don't worry about anything.

Instead, tell God about everything.

Ask and pray.

Give thanks to him.

Then God's peace will watch over your hearts and your minds

because you belong to Christ Jesus.

God's peace can never be completely understood.

Finally, my brothers and sisters,

always think about what is true.

Think about what is noble, right and pure.

Think about what is lovely and worthy of respect.

If anything is excellent or worthy of praise,

think about those kinds of things.

"Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

~Psalm 106:1

Favorite Photos

Funny Fall

"I'd like to try a worm sandwich," Carie said seriously as she stared down at the worm we discovered while sweeping the patio. Instead of eating it, we showed the almost dead worm some compassion by moving it to the dirt and grass and enriching its life with some water. A few minutes later it was gone. I assume it found a comfy spot in the soil.

Later that brisk Friday night as we sat around the fire pit warming ourselves and looking up at the stars, Carie said, "I think I prefer chicken from something bigger than a worm." She won't be trying worm sandwiches anytime soon. She'd rather have pork chicken or beef chicken or even chicken chicken.

That night Carie also kept us updated on the approach of a dark bank of clouds in the twilight of the western sky. "The snow clouds are coming. They are higher now," she'd say every few minutes.

Sure enough, a little after 10:00 PM the winds started blowing and when Bob and I peaked out, it was snowing. We awoke Saturday morning to a dusting of snow and a few inches of leaves in our back yard. Our ash tree was stripped nearly bare of its pale green leaves. So much for the nicely swept patio.

First thing in the morning the kids suited up for serious snow play -- snow pants, boots, extremity coverings. They poked around in the snow for a while. Later in the afternoon they used rakes to make a pile of leaves to jump into, but by the time I was ready to go out and join them, one flip flop clad youngster was done with the cold (I didn't check attire before they went out). Carie supervised and occasionally helped as Maggie and I built up the pile. Carie jumped with Maggie once into the pile of wet leaves and decided she had had enough. Maggie was sad that no one wanted to jump with her, so I offered my companionship. We flopped and twirled and jumped and fell into the great pile of leaves. I have green stains on my pants to prove it.

2-4 inches of snow is in the forecast for tonight, so Bob and I (mostly Bob) collected the leaves and disposed of them at the city compost pile. Maggie and I pulled up all the plants from the garden. Fall is here. Summer is gone. We enjoyed the last of it as we finished our homegrown watermelon today.