"Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures forever." I'm thankful for a difficult start to our school day because I got to see God at work in me and in Maggie as He drew me to Himself and I surrendered to Him.
I had to give myself a time out today as I was faced with the "last straw" excuse regarding schoolwork.
Now I should say that overall this school year has been going 200% better than last year. Not that I really have any way of quantifying it, except perhaps in length of time it takes to complete school, number of times I need to redirect, and how many complaints, excuses, distractions, ailments, arguments or avoidance tactics I must deal with. This year has really been going well. We've had several days when we've finished school by lunch time and many when we've been done by early afternoon. I've heard few complaints about math, and Maggie has settled into our spelling program. We're enjoying our books. Maggie has been inspired by learning cursive and has risen to the challenge, sometimes wanting to write in cursive even when she has not yet learned some of the letters she needs to use. I've been having some good learning times with David and Carie. And Bob has started doing an hour of school with Maggie in his office on Tuesdays and Thursdays. What a blessing! I have given thanks to God frequently over the past few weeks for a great start to the school year.
This day was not one of those glorious days. It was a gray Monday with a little guy around the house who wanted his big sister to play with him while Mom wanted big sister to do school. Maggie was trying to be a loving big sister and didn't always stay focused on the tasks I gave. We had correction and instruction time where I was sorrowful, calm, firm. She seemed to understand and we went on to the next scheduled assignment -- copy Ephesians 4:32. Things didn't go as I had hoped and I felt rage rise up within me. I left Maggie with her assignment and told her I was taking a time out.
I threw myself onto my bed and cried out, "What does it mean to be a kind, tenderhearted and forgiving mom of a child who won't obey? of a child who won't stay focused? of a child who is avoiding what she's supposed to do?" I confessed my inner rage (which I had already confessed and named as wrong to Maggie), my lack of forgiveness, my pride, and I thanked God for His forgiveness. I asked Him to help me and give me wisdom.
As I lay there I was reminded that the Lord disciplines those He loves. Discipline can be (SHOULD be) kind and tenderhearted. Forgiveness doesn't eliminate the need for discipline. And discipline should be followed by complete forgiveness. After my prayer time I called Bob and asked him to pray for me. I shared with him the questions I had voiced in my prayer and he replied, "Your are being kind and tenderhearted by disciplining our children calmly and lovingly." I appreciated the affirmation.
Many Proverbs came to mind like "Discipline your child and save his soul from death." When we discipline our children in kindness and compassion, with a genuine concern for their souls and their future, and with our own hearts submitted to God, we are helping to shape our children's understandng of God. We are showing them the way of wisdom. We are helping them to understand their sinfulness, God's love, Christ's obedience and sacrifice, God's plan for saving them from eternal death and punishment. God is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger, and abounding in love. He forgives sin and he punishes those who persist in sin and reject Him in hate.
If we allow rage or anger to be the power behind our discipline, if inconvenience or feeling a blow to our pride undergirds our discipline, we are giving our children a mistaken understanding of God. They may fail to understand God's grace and mercy, His kindness and compassion, His discipline and forgiveness, His righteousness and justice. God's love includes all that and more. If discipline is harsh and angry then we may be setting our children up for an unhealthy fear of God that keeps them from comprehending His love, that makes their faith unsure, or that may drive them to hate Him. We are not giving Him proper glory.
If we let our children have their way all the time and never provide boundaries, discipline or correction, we are equally misleading them in their understanding of God. We set them up for disappointment when God doesn't respond to them the way they want. Their faith may be crushed when He doesn't answer prayers as they pray them. We are training them to be their own god and to expect others to give them what they want. God disciplines those He loves. Children who don't experience loving discipline have a void in their understanding of God's love.
So what's a parent to do? What am I to do? Set my heart and mind on God's glory above where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Humble myself before God. Pray. Confess. Rid myself of anger, rage, malice, slander, and corrupt communication. Be honest. Recognize I'm chosen by God, holy and dearly loved. Accept God's forgiveness in Christ. Be rooted and established in His love. Ask for wisdom. Clothe myself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with others. Forgive as God forgave me. Put on love. Let the peace of Christ rule in my heart. Let the word of Christ dwell in me richly. Teach and admonish with all wisdom. Sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in my heart to the Lord. Do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Submit to my husband. Put on the armor of God. Pray. Obey God's direction to speak the Word of God to our children, to train them, to discipline them. Abide in God.
May it be so.
