Carie is trying out bangs and chin length hair. I'm trying out really short hair (again). Today I tried my hand at canning dill pickles and tomatoes. I didn't have enough of either one to make all that boiling water worth it, so I decided to do both at the same time. Things got tense at times, particularly when the jars started inverting in the water bath. I have some things to learn, but we now have one pint of diced tomatoes, 2 pints of dill slices, and 1 quart of dill spears that seem to have sealed. One of the tomato jars looked like it wasn't going to seal after about a half hour, so I turned that into salsa that Bob and I enjoyed tonight. The other jar of dill pickles crashed into the floor. The lid opened and the contents when flying, but no glass broke.
Carie starts school on Monday. At 8:45 Monday morning there is a church service at First Cristian Reformed Church. Parents are encouraged to attend, so I will take Carie to the service and then drop her off at school. Maggie will go to work with Bob who has to be present for a panel discussion. Hopefully David will be able to go to a friend's house. I'm not sure he'd appreciate sitting through the church service. Carie has early dismissal at 12:00, so I don't think Maggie will be starting school on Monday as first planned. That plan was the plan when Bob thought he'd be able to take Carie on Monday morning.
I have to admit that with a mind affected by hormones I began to panic about all the external schedule keeping that is in store for us this year and wondered why we didn't just decide to homeschool Carie and not even mention to Maggie about the possibility of taking a class at school. Maggie will be taking art at the public elementary school, which operates on a six day cycle, so each week she will have art on a different day. Carie has some days that are early dismissal days at 2:00. Those days Bob won't be able to get her and ....aaaaah I'm losing my mind.
Bob asked me if I would like for him to be in charge of Carie's schedule and let me know any time I'll have to pick her up (most days he will be able to drop her off and pick her up). My first reaction was, with some thigh pounding and clenched teeth was, "No! I'll feel stupid if I have to have you keep track of the schedule. I should learn to do that myself and not get stressed about it." On second thought I realized that we all have our areas of weakness and we all need help. Better to get the help then to keep muddling along messing up, feeling guilty, and getting angry at oursleves. I agreed to have him be in charge of the schedule. What a feeling of relief.
That whole incident was a big reminder to me of how things work with me and God. He doesn't want me coming to Him saying, "I'm really working at it. Can't you see I'm improving. I'm going to learn how to avoid sinning. I don't need any help. I will learn this. If I can't do this on my own I'll feel stupid. I should be able to do this." No. God wants me to come to Him saying, "Lord, have mercy on me a sinner. I am weak. I am poor in spirit. I keep messing up and it makes me really sad. I really want to do what's right, but I can't do it. Please help me." When I'm ready to admit that I can't do it, He is there. He loves me no matter what. His power is available to me when I seek Him, trust Him, delight in Him, and know Him, but the truth is, I only seek Him, trust in Him, delight in Him or know Him because He has already sought me, proved Himself trustworthy, delighted in me, and known me.
"My sheep hear my voice and I know them and they follow me."
"Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am meek and humble in heart. And you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
I'm toying with this defnition of humility: "The ability to say, 'I can't, but with your help I will.'"